For as long as i can remember, I always feel unsettled, something is always ready to disrupt whatever plans I have of playing house and raising a regular family.
Something always moving me, something not feeling quite right.
I've moved to my new house for a year now, and I'm still living out of my suitcase, laundry baskets broken, no storage, no cupboards, no lamps, heck my TV is still propped on the hand me down office desk muy brother gave to me when he was relocating to London.
Seriously this is what I brain feels like on a good day.
Something always moving me, something not feeling quite right.
I've moved to my new house for a year now, and I'm still living out of my suitcase, laundry baskets broken, no storage, no cupboards, no lamps, heck my TV is still propped on the hand me down office desk muy brother gave to me when he was relocating to London.
Seriously this is what I brain feels like on a good day.
No form of orderliness or progression, now I feel like I'm getting set to move again...to start the mechatronics in Kano, or get this visa guy to get me an a kids a one way ticket out of this cesspool of crap...
And I'm suddenly just thrown off course, what do i do? What do i choose? What's the tight decision?
Wait and struggle it out for the next 5 years? Move the kids with me? How will I sustain them?
Move to America and start afresh, what ifs are so many? Regularizing my immigration, I would have to sweat blood and bone to achieve what I need to do, the kids? Will I be enough for them in the wild wild west? Their morality? Where will I get a support system?
My projects? My new businesses? Trying to make a name for myself in the literary world? All of that
Decisions, decisions, decisions..
One thing I know for sure is things can't remain as they are, late on rent, 2 terms behind in school fees, constantly living on a shoe string, this isn't the life I was meant to live, I was meant to go through it obviously to see what I needed to do,and I'm grateful for the experience good, bad and bitter but I need God to point me in the right direction right now.
And I'm suddenly just thrown off course, what do i do? What do i choose? What's the tight decision?
Wait and struggle it out for the next 5 years? Move the kids with me? How will I sustain them?
Move to America and start afresh, what ifs are so many? Regularizing my immigration, I would have to sweat blood and bone to achieve what I need to do, the kids? Will I be enough for them in the wild wild west? Their morality? Where will I get a support system?
My projects? My new businesses? Trying to make a name for myself in the literary world? All of that
Decisions, decisions, decisions..
One thing I know for sure is things can't remain as they are, late on rent, 2 terms behind in school fees, constantly living on a shoe string, this isn't the life I was meant to live, I was meant to go through it obviously to see what I needed to do,and I'm grateful for the experience good, bad and bitter but I need God to point me in the right direction right now.
P. S I won a year's subscription to a dance studio, I've never felt better than in that one hour dance,even though I was as stiff as a stick,
Should do it more often, today's a burlesque class, should be interesting.
Should do it more often, today's a burlesque class, should be interesting.
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